I had no less than four post ideas waiting when I readed Who fucked Roger Rabbit, a long study explaining why furfag (accusing somebody of being furry, gay and bestialist) is a racist word. I agree it is.
After a while (because with me, almost anything is after a while; I need a brain update :-p) I noticed I should leave the other ideas rest and write a post, too, because I have a privileged point of view over it. After all, I am one of them, a racist. Not proud of it, fighting it day by day, but still, I am one of them.
How this kind of things happen? Well, when I was a girl Spain almost hadn’t inmigration from other races, but we had the gypsies. Not the brightly/multicolored dressed, all day dancing ones from the films, but the olive skinned, dirty handed, noisily behaved ones. And at the same time I despised how north american people treated their own differences, I hated the gypsies.
Of course, now I know that isn’t so easy to be clean when you don’t have easy access to running water, that smoke is a natural odour when you reunite with your family around the fire at the nights, that there are ways of life deeply tied with tradition, and that it can keep them out of the mainstream. That most of the gypsy comunity is proud and honest, even if seeing the way the other people lives can bring some of them thieving… as usual, we only look at the noisiest ones.
And knowing all that, I still don’t like them. Racism.
I whould never step away from them, or demostrate it, but I still feel uneasy in the presence of a gypsy. Worse, now that thousands of inmigrants cross subrepticiously the small sea between Africa and our southern frontier, running away from poverty and famine, there will be some years of adjust until I can look at dark skinned people and see them as true spanish citizens, even if maybe they have three degrees and earn six times what I do.
Ah yes, and chinesse only come here to put restaurants and “all for an euro” shops.
Racism.
The worse is that when I try to fight it, I usually overcompensate… so it becomes painfully obvious I feel uneasy.
Now something funny… I don’t have that kind of problem out of Spain; I didn’t have it in my holidays at France, and I don’t have it at SL; in fact, I’ve always thinked that people from mixed races are much more attractive that the boring “pure blood” ones.
So, for me, it is clear that racism is born out of fear.
As a kid you learn to fear the strange. You think that young gypsies despise you (probably right, anyway, there has never been much love between them and us, the “payos”) and are afraid they will thieve you money, or worse… I never had a problem, and still feared.
You fear the change that new blood brings, fear that when they inmigrate in despire their poverty they bring will touch you, or make them resent you. You fear that you will not be good enough to treat them naturally, and so you avoid them.
Sometimes, you fear and despise because you’ve been educated to.
So, racists are small, scared people, that find hard to addapt to a reality that it is different from the image they have on they minds. Racist are in fear because don’t know enough the target of their fear, and will not do easily because, well, they fear, they feel uneasy to connect freely. Pity us.
But, of course, there are some ones that react, that make their fear grow until it becomes hatred and false righteusness. There are some racist that find help in numbers, flow with the mayority, enjoy the power of the crowd. There are the ones that coin expressions like furfag.
And you know, I’ve no pity for them. Only despise. Maybe despise is a racist trait too, but I will not fight this one.
My parents raised me not to be racist, that all people are equal.. The funny thing is now that they are older they prove that in their eyes people are different… I don’t really have that problem though… I treat people as they are and for what they are… My biases aren’t due to ‘race’ (which btw is a silly thought, we all belong to the same scientific ‘race’, it’s like saying a calico is a different race than a siamese… They are both cats, just two different types of cats)…
I do have biases due to behavior… I despise ‘ghettohood’ in all it’s flavors. From the way they wear their clothes, to the way they talk, to the music they like… Why do I despise it so…? Because they seem to worship the negative aspects of life, living for the moment and not caring who they hurt in the process… The clothing is based on jail trends, their vocabulary is affected by the same source, and the music used to come primarily out of jails… Now they can all be rich enough if they get known that they can just buy off cops and don’t have to live half their lives in jail… But I digress…
I live by the truism that ‘life is change, change is life’. You can’t really be a racist and follow that principle…
I.. don’t see people like you, London, as being racist. You struggle with it, you dislike it within yourself.. You do not sit there and bred the feelings of hate and dislike into more then just that. You do not act upon it, and you try to better yourself by trying to avoid thinking that way. I think that is what separates you from a true racist.
You are so brave to write this London, I always admire your personal courge.
Today I’ll answer from newer to older, only for the fun of it :-p.
Lillie… again the brave thing :-p. I don’t think that being what I am makes me a bad person, since I know it and try to keep it under control, and I whould change it if I was able to. Probably a prolonged “exposition” whould make the trick; it is hard to fear what you know.
But if I want to change I need to hurry, I have little more than a decade before my daughter growns and the possibility of she going “Guess Who’s Comming to Dinner” on me appears. And I want to be ready for it :-)
Anyway, it is not boldness or courage, but the desire to share my idea about how that kind of behaviours can appear. Yes, there is a little risk I can be associated in a negative way for telling it, but I’ve the utmost respect on my readers, and I know they will never fall for it *smiles worriedly while crossing her fingers*.
So, Kat, there is no need to defend me from myself; you’ve been doing it quite a bit lately, isn’t it? *winks and hugs you*. I am not attacking myself and telling, “bad, bad girl”. It is something that happens outside of me, and I am pretty proud I can manage it.
And theshadow… even if it scares me a bit what you say about your fathers (we are trying to keep our daughter free of that kind of burdens, but it is incredible how people drifts away from the left political wing when they grow old), the idea about gettos can explain what I don’t feel that kind of fears when visiting integrated societies, like french one, while I do in our newly open one (this was a right wing dictadure 30 years ago :-p).
Ok, the french had have their own big social turmoil a little ago, because their own inhabitants keep seeing and treating their second/third generation members as inmigrants, limiting their access to employment, etc. But what I saw there was simply people, without worring too much about shades of skin… that and a lot of machine guns, police is a bit scary there :-p.
Of course, when I fail is when the integration problems I feel at home splash the first impression I have of somebody due their physical look… that is the definition of prejudice, to have an oppinion without knowing somebody, even if you fight it.
Awareness of oneself, and ones own strengths and weaknesses, is the first step to achieving that which you desire. You are well on your way London, and it is wonderful to read the honesty in your Blog.
Racism is always a tricky subject. Humans tend to gravitate to what is “normal” for them. Personally..I’m Australian, and I grew up in a pretty much “white” city. There were only Chinese people around, and “Ozzies”. I’m not sure if this was a good or bad thing
Genetically I have Chinese and Aboriginal ancestry as well as Anglo-Celtic, but then again my (adopted) father was Afro-Caribbean. So my viewpoint may be a bit skewed.
Race can be intertwined with a culture, adn the effects of the culture can be negative.
When I was in New Zealand for a few years, I lived with Maoris for a while. It was the first time I had really immersd myself in a different ethnic group, and it was quite surprising. I found a lot of smart people who should have been doctors, scientists, engineers, but in traditional Maori culture, young people are not supposed to be smart. So they ended up as factory workers and menial workers, and this bred a lot of resentment.
It was only in the late 90s when they really got their act together and started going places.
I don’t know about Spain, but in the UK (where I now live ) it’s somehow seen that only white people are racist. This has often puzzled me.
I have a friend who lives in Japan, and while, they are very friendly people, racism is just normal. He makes sure he is friendly with the neighbors. All it takes is one person to call the police and say this foreigner “makes me nervous”, and the police can come and visit, and take him away for questioning. Japanese police don’t have a reputation for being nice people either.
But being aware of the way you think, put you far ahead of people who think the way they are is normal, and everybody else in wrong. But it’s just not race, but it’s sex, and sexual orientation, and even peoples height, and beauty we judge them on. The results are the same.
Wow, London.. I was touched by this post. I feel I can relate to some of your feelings, as I think it quite rare for any patriot to carry some degree of hesitance towards immigration in particular. Britain has had quite numerous pockets re-moulded into Asian communities which bring their residents together and make a pleasantly diverse experience for visitors like me. But it’s not British.
Likewise, in a world where (I hope) most of SL’s users are human in reality, perhaps many feel this fear towards the different or the furry. What I find remarkable about this particular ‘furfag’ post was the attention-seeking displayed by the Encyclopedia Dramatica and anyone else responsible for these names. ‘Fag’ in itself is one of the most confusing and yet insulting words I have ever come across, partially because to me it means ‘cigarette’, but mostly because it’s such a short and ’shouty’ word that the people who decided its homosexual meaning will have known full well what they were doing.
Still, the biggest question is always one of what to do next, to combat this or stop it happening. But it seems we must always face the inevitable. Not everyone will like everything, and there are always people who find amusement in large gangs or by joining outspoken majorities. The furries and anyone else affected by persecution are hardly going to stop because of this sort of activity. If anything, the people who yell at them on SL’s streets will only make those affected react much more strongly in defiance of this lack of acceptance. It is my hope that some day the idiots will realise this; that they don’t have to like what is going on, but also that they needn’t make a ridiculous fuss about it that embarasses everyone concerned.
Thanks, Elusyve; still, the honesty is easy to an exhibitionist… it whouldn’t be as funny to expose anybody else’s skin, isnt’ it? :-)
Shockwave, it is awesome to find somebody with that wide range of experience about the matter. And yes, I am conscious that not only white people is racist; I already knew about the japanese (but not about the call to the police thingie), and when I take the (titanical) effort to stop worrying about myself and look around a bit, I can understand that the same fear that “us” feel, can be reversed and present on “them”, stirring the same way of behaviour.
And yes, you are true about that it isn’t only a race matter, but sex, height and other kind of noticiable differences that can define an “us” and a “them”.
And Vidal, you’ve brought deeply waters that the ones I’ve waded in. For example, when you mention chinesse comunities inside of Britain but isolated from it, my mind jumped to Mallorca, a Spanish island that has been graduatelly buyed by german people, until reaching the point most public places don’t support spanish as a language anymore. So, it hurts to be a stranger in a piece of your own country, but you cannot deny the rights of the owners.
Anyway, it isn’t the same to see how a little piece of paradise is gradually being converted into a german resort, that the tendence people has when they have to emigrate to reunite in the same areas, where they can have a common ground, keep sharing their language and customs.
I don’t agree with it, since it bring the pressures we where talking about before (gettos, absence of integration, sense of “stranger on your own land” when you visit there) but, truly, I don’t know if I whould fall on it if I had to leave… it must be incredible hard to jump to another place, where people talks another language and behaves in different ways, without falling in the temptation to fell in a kind of comunity… and if I had enough money, I’ll probably whould buy an island :-p.
In this sea of gray areas, I agree with you about the yelling idiots… to ignore them and let them wither in their own stupidit… but by now I’ve not being targeted by them; maybe if I was it whouldn’t be so easy for me not to answer.
Not guilty! This german has never sat a foot on Mallorca and most likely never will ;)
*laughs*. Good to know, but you miss a sunny, wonderfull, warm weather place. As I said, a piece of paradise… and I think they use your language, too :-)
Naaaa, I’ll stick my good old Ireland … who needs warm weather when you can get fresh Guinness? ;-)
The best of the world if you take it just crossing the street in front of the factory; I’ve heard :-)
In the time I was even a bigger tomboy than I am now, I used to go to bars with my friends and have a cup of dry rum (usually, the jamaican Captain Morgan). Now it whould cause havock to my stomach, but I still can enjoy a good wine and a cold beer (but not often if it is black, too strong for me already).
Another good point for Ireland :-)
*Winks* And if you are into reading beer, have a look at Tim Power’s Dark Essence (hehe, I cannot believe I’ve been so evil to recomend you another book).
*** Note: More about my tomboy youth in tomorrow’s post ***
London dear: I’ve been thinking about this post for most of two days now. Your experience fascinates me. I really don’t know much about the European experience with multiculturalism, and you gave us all such wonderful insights.
It’s interesting: the one area in which I’m inescapably the same as the Other Personality I share a brain with is the one we’d each rank as *least* important to us: nationality. I’ve got the OP’s cultural inheritance, and in a lot of ways I’m much more stereotypically American than the OP: loud, direct, driven, overbearing, blind to or contemptuous of tradition.
Likewise, I’ve inherited OP’s cultural prejudices. This is probably worth a post of my own, because it touches on what you, and Lillie, and Vidal (she’s a gem!) have been writing about. America faces an immense cultural divide, and I am virulently prejudiced against anyone I think might be on the other side, based on their religion, their politics, their prejudices.
I’m *not* open minded and willing to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. I can think of one blogger I formed an opinion about, and still *cannot stand,* though they’ve done nothing to me directly.
And, like you, I often leap before I look… ;)
Thank you for provoking me to take a hard look inward.
There is little I can tell you about european multiculturalims, since Spain is too provincian in that matters.
We are more familiar with the fierce american nationalism topic (even if I’ve never seen it described as “loud, direct, driven, overbearing, blind to or contemptuous of tradition”, I should remember that phrase :-) and it scares and amazes us at the same time, so it will be interesting to learn about it from a first hand experience :-)
*smiles and hugs you*