Exploring the BDSM scene: Dominance Games

This is the fourth part of a series that starts here. It is, and at the same time it isn’t, the last one. I’ll explain it later :-p

And before starting, I want this to be clear: this is only a small sample; the possibilities are endless. Anythink that makes you or your partner feel sexy and erotic could do, even if it is waiting for your lover to come wearing dance leotards and big, black boots.

The first game I want to talk about are the blindfolds, mainly because they are mainly aestethical at SL. In the real life, a blindfold gives you a sense of anticipation, the thrill of not knowing what is coming in, and tests your confidence in your partner. Of course, you can simply lay and lett things happen, acting like a true bottom and letting your vision able top to do all the work; and of course, too, deeply vanilla people like me can simply keep their eyes closed and enjoy :-p

At SL, there are blindfolds that can black your screen (I imagine that you simply wear a black hud attachment that covers all the space, but it still let you see the text windows). Since we are limited to the poseballs cybering already needs somebody telling us what’s happening, so the blindfold isn’t a big deal, unless you consider that it avoids the clash between the poseball and the mental image.

Another popular game at RL are ropes (ok, big shawls or scarfs, mostly) and handcuffs, where the blindfold rules apply, with the added thrill/risk of not being able to release yourself (did you see the film? Better be sure your partner will not suffer a heart stroke!).

Restrictions are pretty popular at SL, starting by the leashable collars to the BDSM oriented Lockmeister systems. Again, they are mostly an aestetical thrill, since you can stay in any moment (btw, there are restrictive systems that can keep you locked on mouselook, so you cannot press the Stand Up button).

I suggest that, if you are tied or chained, take advantage of it; tense yourself, try to reach something and be unable to, hang from the chains, make them sing. I’ like a lot to use the Deviance base to create standard furniture, since the one without animations is only 400L$ and you can use a lot of poseballs (five, if I am right), composing complex scenes with your own animations. If you want to know more, you can find a sexbed analysis here.

(*** update: I just saw the last post on that page I linked, and it goes right into the “ugggh” cathegory; there are some things that go too far even for me to understand where it is the fun, and I have a pretty twisted sense of humour (and Dolcett is one of them; I never heard of that until I readed about it on the Herald). This said, I still think that the bed review is good, as are most posts there…  but be warned, and carefull where you browse. ***).

Another big RL-SL diference is that here strap-ons are usually more popular that vibrators and plugs; I imagine they are more playfull (well, ok, I have none of them in RL. Even if I could do with a small vibrator, where should I store it?). Btw, it always help to discuss how real are they in advance; I like to think about them as “the true thing” when I am on the receiving end of a strap-on, but don’t feel right when I wear them unless they are sintetic. Funny, isn’t it?

I will not study other devices, like giant cocks, torture systems, human furniture, etc. Mainly because I don’t like painfull or demeaning devices, even if they are virtual. A bit of restraining is usually my limit, but I imagine you can do a lot of things for kink or love :-) For example, it amaces me how many woman have I seen with their nipples pierced and chained here; the absence of pain does wonders for some kinds of fashion.

Playing dominant/submissive scenes is one of the most easy and rewarding ways to expand your experience. Since cybering is already in the mind, what is better that to give it a new twist?

You can start wearing some classics to help the ambience, like black leather, high heel boots, black leather high heel boots :-) Of course there is no need of it, since even a sober suit can do the trick. When asked wich suit is the better one, Terry Pratchett’s monks of cool will answer “wichever one I am wearing!”. Actitude matters a lot :-)

The top role (remember that there can be submissive tops and dominant bottoms, too) needs a lot of work, usually thinking and getting a scene ready, and then keeping the submissive partner excited while controling the tempo. Rewarding, but you need a lot of confidence on yourself and in your partner.

Meanwhile, the botton role should keep with the story, and help conducting it, mainly telling the effects it is having on he/she/it.

Dominant roles should keep pushing the submissive ones a bit farther from their confort limit; ask them to say what they want while having sex, to wear naughty clothes in public, to pose in strange ways (a RL suggestion I whould had loved long time ago: don’t try the Kamasutra at the middle of a sex session; it is dissapointing to discover that “it doesn’t get in”, “ouch, that hurted” and “aaargh, my back!”. Try new positions at first, if you are having fun and still warming up).

Submissive roles should comunicate the dominant one when they are going to far (or not far enough), in a way that don’t break the mood; and at the same time find ways to please and colaborate, like blushing, spreading yourself with a pleading look, and the so loved moans and cries.

Know yourself and your partner. Any role needs to know it’s and it’s partner’s limits. “Did I went too far?” and “whould you mind if I try this?” are wonderfull questions, and the answers, positive or negative, help to buy confidence, and make the live more pleasurable. Cybering can be truly tiresome, an incredible strain to your imagination, but also truly pleasurable.

After all this time at SL, and all my experience, my cybering skills have decreased a lot. Yes, it isn’t a mistake; decreased. Not only I have forgotten a lot of words that I used before, since I almost don’t read erotic stories now, but I’ve grown more and more passionated, only able to type moans and unconexed words when things heaten. In that moment I feel my mind wander in a cloud, my body weakens, and instead of complex, measured texts, I write a wet, messy lot of nonsense typos.

I love it :-)

*** Note: This should be the end of this series, but I am going to add an epilogue called “The Ethical Slut”. Will be up soon!!! :-)