No, I am not touching the classical “consensual actions between adult humans disguised as children”. I don’t approve it, as I don’t approve Dolcett and other things, but I doubt I have the right to judge.
Also, I am not going back to the risks that unmature minds face in the grid; to me is easy… Internet has its dangers, so don’t let them alone at it until they are ready.
Nothing to say about pesky underage intruders that hadn’t been said before, and in a better way.
But for a long time, probably more than a month, I’ve been wanting to write about a big annoyance: child avies that behave like children, controlled by mature users. And yes, I said “annoyance”, but you will see later I did in a nice way :-p.
Of course, and before I start, here you have the usual picture. This time is another of Lillie’s dinamical sculptures, that I had the pleasure to see this morning.
More about why child avies annoy us, and about why it isn’t their fault, after the cut.
For some of us Second Life is an inmersive experience; we suspend our disbelieve and, simply, live. Yes, it is possible that that cute guy I am talking with is truly a 60 years old, half bald man, or a woman, or the woman’s cat, but I don’t mind. I am talking with him, and what he says, and in a lesser extent, how he looks, is all that matters.
For some of us Second Life is a sexual place. I am not saying there is sexual content (ohhhh, big surprise :-p), but that we are sexual beings inside it. We like it, we like to practice it and, sometimes, we simply need it.
When I meet a children avie, even knowing I am taking with an adult, I “believe” and behave like it is a children; it feels like a children.
And since my inventory is full of naughty clothing and, err, naughty items, and my mindset is so sexual, I feel like I where carrying a dildo on my purse.
Akward.
Now, when people wants to ban child avies or even small size ones, they go waaaaay far away. It is not the fault of child avies that their look can be used in disgusting sexual activities; it isn’t their fault our minds are full of crap (mine is, at least), and it makes us feel uneasy.
Second Life isn’t Red Light Disctrict. Yes, it is a mature place, but not a sex only place. We should be able to develop ourselves in any way.
So if you don’t like children avies, or furries, or babyfurs, don’t go banning them; tell them you don’t like them if it is necesary, but don’t blame them.
And if you fight the uneasiness, maybe you will become accostumed someday.
There is a children avie on my friend list, and she is a nice little girl. Knowing her has been a nice experience, even if at first she made me feel a bit creepy. I understand child avies better now, my mind is a bit less crappy, and now Christmas is coming, I feel a bit like disguising and going HOHOHO all around.
See you next week :-)
Those two child aves pictured on blogpost you linked to I got from two virtual kids I had a pleasure to meet one lovely day in a sandbox. That girl, Lara, is a great wise and thought provoking child. her friend, I think his name was Rony, gave me a bit of creeps cause he is a sad child, one of those with eyes all black. But they are both living their childhoods with us.
Those days I was young (despite that I was “aunt dandellion”) and really had no idea that somebody hate child avies or, worse, love them in the wrong way. So I haven’t thought about what is in my inventory and purse. Those thoughts came later, after some idiot made a naughty machinima to pump up score of the television program. Those thoughts came after all the self-proclaimed clean minds came with fires, ban threats and usual dose of rigidity that comes with stupid people.
Maybe you are right. I met my first child avie at a sim that simulated a railroad station, where some homeless kids sleeped, and I remember the conversation was pretty akward, but I am not really sure what was the motive.
It wasn’t until it was necesary for me to “face” the situation a little ago that, searching inside myself, found a possible motive for my uneasiness. Probably it isn’t the only one, but at least it seemed logical. Maybe it was the fault of the clean minds to bring it, but I think the seed was already inside me.
As so many ghosts, this one dissapeared when facing it, and that is why it is so sad that so many people spends their time trying to constrain others inside their limits, instead of expanding theirs.
Yes, I know I am repeating myself but, after reading your comment, I cannot help but pondering…
… what does “aunt dandellion” carry on her inventory?
Are you sure you want all the 8000+ items?
Or you just want to take a peak into that small purse with girlish neccessities?
I made a younger version of myself (I call it my kitten Tober av), which I’ve used a few times. She is definitely pre-teen, but her age is vague. When I’m using it, I’ll usually do some funny things that kids do, like jump up and down, or say cutesy things.
I haven’t really thought about what my motivation is behind making the av (well, it’s definitely not sexual!!), but making it was both challenging and fun, and I have fun being kitten Tober every so often.
Dandellion… I must take you shopping sometime dear… I’m pushing 16,000+ items ^_^
If I were to play a ‘child’ AV it would be a teen… My teen years sucked and I’d love to redo them in RL in a way that they wouldn’t… But part of being a teen is sex… and the obsession in many parts of the world in denying that, even though it’s proven most people 70%+ for the last 6 decades have been having sex starting by as early as 14 and before 18. Heck as early as 120 years ago most of the world was still marrying off their kids at the age of 13-16 year old… I find it hilarious that most have hangups of kids seeing ’sexual material’ because of this…
That said using true child (pre-13 years rl) AV’s or actually teens playing young AV’s in sexual situations is something that should be discouraged…
Shadow dear… I love to go shopping, but as soon as I go over 9000 items I’ll delete all the folders I don’t know contents of. Last time my inventory was loading longer than 15 seconds I killed some 700 items. :p
I’ve never noticed my inv being slow… just big and often hard to find some things… But that just means I need a cleanup… ^_-
I still keep freebies from my frist days though… Never know when I’ll want something somewhere in my collection… ^_^
I also had rotten teen years, Shadey. It’s part of the reason I play a 19 year old in Midian.
My childhood was pretty good, I have to admit. But from about 13-on, it sucked bigtime.
I kind of like how my avatar’s age is sort of ambiguous if you just look at her. She could be anywhere from about 15 to somewhere in the 20s.
I go away some hours and see how the chat growed!
Anyway, the answers are: Small purse, never seem to have enough time to short and clean my inventory, adolescence was a crappy age that I don’t want to relieve in anyway…
… and here I need to stop a bit.
Because if yes, I don’t “play” a younger avie, it is true that my behaviour here is more crazy, free and somewhat infantile that my usual RL self.
I said Lillie once that I felt like her was the older one, when I am easily, what, eighteen years older? She answered that she comes here to be older, and me to be younger.
While I am pretty proud of my almost (almost, almost, almost and a bit nearer more almost) forty years, it is true that I’ve leave my spirit fly free and playfull, in what we could call a twentyish way of life. Maybe I am “playing” a teen, after all, without ever noticing :-p
Gosh, I have the feeling that I’m the only one who didn’t have awful teen years … should I be ashamed? ;-)
OK, looking back there are lots of things I’d like to do in a different way now (guess that’s true for most of us), but generally I was pretty content with myself back then. Actually, I liked the time between 18 and 20 the most, but the years before that were quite ok, too. And yes, I didn’t even hate school …
Hmm, am I a little off-topic here? Sowwy!
*hops off into the distance*
Of course you should be ashamed! If you aren’t one of us, you are one of them! Let’s raise the flaming torchs and the pitchforks and hunt Tim! :-p
Maybe it is a wrong timing but my childhood was also cool.
Pitchforks, pitchforks and flames!
*giggles*
I don’t care about pitchforks… It’s nice to know someone had a nice childhood… or at least teen years… I was pushed into borderline insanity by mine (chronic depression, near suicidal bouts), so I prefer my 20’s on… things got somewhat better in my early 20’s… Which is probably why in SL I modeled myself to look how I’d like to look for my early twenties…
*Piiitchf… brakes suddenly*
Adolescence is by definition a time when we examine and define ourselves; sadly it also tends to come with a lot of insecurity and broken nerves, that sometimes show as foul mouths, hurting others or simply as quiet suffering, and sometimes the suffering goes too far away.
Now this post’s comments are showing me things I newer imagined, mainly, that a lot of us may be young at heart because we are somewhat reliving a fragment of our pre or post-adolescence, and that it is possible that some people go throught with adolescence without it being a test of fire, and simply enjoy it “mumble mumble pitchforks mumble mumble”.
Anyway, I am sorry to hear yours was specially trying, but now you survived the forge, I am sure the results are truly special *smiles warmly*
London I’m pretty certain we have the same child friend and yes, initially she made me unconfortable but I have gotten over it. She’s fun to be around.
However the baby talk is still annoying. My 4 yr old and my 7 yr old DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT! Please stop doing it.
Like you, I think the amount of stuff in SL that is either sexual, or violent or both, makes child AVs uncomfortable to be near.
Dunan and I have also got new “Phunky Phaery” avatars from Brigid Ashwood which although child sized, do not make me feel uncomfortable. I think it is because of the combination of breasts and the really “anime” face make me feel like I am looking at a cartoon character rather than a child.
(If anyone hasn’t seen a “Phunky Phaery” here is a link to a picture: http://www.flickr.com/photos/9036376@N02/2122628374/ )
so funny that everybody in SL is so fixated on youth and young good looks. I mean , the grandma &grandpa avatars can be counted on one hand . being old and fat seems to be the biggest taboo in sl . SL will always have the kinky and just for fun image it has ,because a lot of people’s dreams and fantasies are quite narrowminded
Faerie, I’ve been told yesterday that do stick my tongue around a lot, and it is true, but of course I don’t do it at RL. Maybe we could consider the (yes, a bit annoying :-p) kid talk a way to emote an actitude.
And about your child avatars, I still think that it matters a lot that you don’t change your behaviour while wearing it. I may look like a demoness or an angel, but my aspect don’t define me (err, much :-p).
Peluda, welcome :-). You have an interesting point here, even if you are a tad out of toppic (it is fun because some days ago I decided I’ll write a post about appearances soon, but didn’t thought about old avies, so thanks for the idea :-).
I don’t see how narrowmindness in fantasies relates with a just for fun image, but I agree with you that fat and/or old avies are very scarce, and that they can be even be rejected socially. In a world where you should be able to be whatever you want, it is interesting to notice that there so many standard aspects that aren’t “acceptable”.
with narrowmindedness in fantasy i meant that it is hard to find people in SL who don’t behave in a predictable way.
I meet too many people who should actually be in a computergame with artificial intelligence surrounding them instead of talking to a human. ;-)
Well, I am very predictable myself, but I hope not so much to be at AI level; even meeting only one person at that level whould be too much!
But we are drifting more and more off-topic, even if I’ll also add what you just said to that post I’ll write next week (at least, I hope so .-p).
Meanwhile, have a Merry Christmas :-)
sorry for that drifting off London happens to me all the time.
BTW , it has nothing to do with levels or education to be fascinating to talk to . It is more a feeling that one gets about someone. oops i am off-topic again merry christmas. :-)
Hehe.. Well, I for one am certain I know the kid London’s talking about. It doesn’t make me uneasy.. never really did, since I know I wouldn’t be attracted in that way to a child. My only problem is I don’t want this person to get banned because of it, I care for her so much, almost as if she’s my daughter.. But you know how the self righteous in SL think.
Anyways.. a point closer to home is the smaller av’s debate.. Most of you know, I’m extremely short.. I like it like that. And people, for some reason, can’t get it through their thick skulls that short isn’t always young. Most of you that know me know my features really aren’t those of a child, or even a teen.. that the way I act and dress (when I do.. ::Shifty eyes.::) isn’t that way either. The problem is, the ‘definition’ of a too-young avie is too open. I remember reading that when looking for an underage av you’re supposed to take those things above into concideration.. Size, facial features, clothing, actions.. but people take it so that anyone ‘violating’ just one of those is grounds for abuse and harassment.. which is what i concider it to be when someone’s unjustly accusing me of being underage. It’s not happened much, thankfully, but it really gets me mad when it does.
Anyways, on a happier note~ Merry Christmas to everyone! ^.^ ::Sends out hugs and kisses and licks and mews and nuzzles.:: Hehe.
*pets the cute kitty* Ahhh… Well your adorable Katrina, I don’t know why anyone would ever harass you like that… & One of these days I’ll have to find you again in SL… ^_^
Katrina has a valid point. Although I have never been harassed for my size and/or appearance, I know at least a couple of people who have. One of which looks like a fully-grown woman, but is simply a normal height of 5′3″ tall – her height in rl. She dresses in mature clothing, does not look like a child, nor acts like one. She has been evicted of stores and other places because of her appearance. It happens, and it’s definitely not right.
Yeah. Yaknow what one of the bigger problems is? A huge proprotion of the women in SL are like.. 7 foot tall. Everyone’s idea of height is way out of proportion because of that. I’m abnormally short, I know.. 4′6″ which just happens to be the shortest you can really get.. Well.. that I know of anyways. I’m not sure why I have it set there.. but I like it. ^^; I think it’s inhibited me in my search for finding a fun place to work as well.. as people don’t seem to like to take me seriously too often. ::Shifty eyes.. then shrugs.:: Ah well. All I can say to people is I’m short cuz I’m short. (When someone asks me why I’m so short, I usually come back with “why are you so tall?” hehe.) I like it that way, it fits me the best. ^-^
Katrina, the reason that I am uncomfortable around kid avatars is not because I am attracted to them – rather because, as a parent, I react like a parent:
“This is no place for a child!”
There are many things I don’t want my kids to see or even learn about (they don’t even have toy weapons) but those things are everywhere in SL.
There are places here in the RL city I live in where I cringe if I see a child on the footpath in the middle of the day as I drive past.
Similarly, in SL I react to the avatar being a child and think “This is no place for a child – why do you want to be a child here?”. Of course “here” is relative and if the sim is a child oriented one then it would be OK – but then I don’t go to child oriented sims.
I have become comfortable with my child-sized friend now but I will always be selective about where I meet her.
I admonished the poor Leroy (mind if I call you Leroy? I feel a bit strange using “peluda”; do you know what it means in spanish?) because he went off-topic, and everybody decides to do it :-p.
Ok, here come the too delayed answers:
Leroy, I never mentioned levels of education, only talked about being at AI simplistic behavioural level. Anyway, we had touched a lot of things at your comments, and I promise (ok, ok, use “I’ll try” instead) I’ll write a post about them next week :-)
Ka and October: Before this fever, I was visiting a sex club (One: cannot remember the name, I think it sounded like Felix the cat. Two: I seem unable to feel at ease in that kind of places, so I almost never go to them) when I saw a naked/childlike male avatar walking around. I found it disgusting, and it was one of the motives that maked me port away; but none of us said a thing, at least in the open chat.
Now, it seems that being small is a motive good enough to be banned from any kind of places, but it is because it has becomed socially aceptable! Long ago you whould be a creting and a bigot doing so; now the hunting season is open for furries and small people, and soon will be for same gender couples or avies not cute enough to fit a certain standard.
Shadow: Again? *Want’s to know more!* ^-^
Kat again: Kitten, some of us take our height from slider percentiles… 50% should be average, 70% tall, and so. It isn’t our fault that the 50% slider is like two meters high! I understand why you or Nat want to be like you are, but I am feeling pretty tired about being nagged for being unnaturally tall, since I am in the 68% :-p.
Faerie: You are soo right. Sometimes I wear my Totoro or skunk avies and let my four year old daughter sit with me; she loves to fly around, but I choose carefully the sims where we do. And of course, when meeting our mutual friend I not only have to be choosy with place, but usually have to change my clothes too :-)
its a french mythical creature who was denied acces to noah’s ark but survived the flood anyway !!! it means nothing else and if it does thats too bad :P
Thanks, I didn’t knew a word about it, but it makes things easier, Peluda.
(of course, with that name I can understand Noe’s decision; and also of course, i was only kidding .-p).
waaaaaaaaay waaaaaaaaay off topic now london :P
btw do you know what london spengler means in cantonese ?
OMG look it up :P
Aha, a just reprieve (and I don’t believe you by a moment, btw, so I will not look it up :-p).
*starts to notice you are a relentless commenter :-)*
ok ok i’ll stop London maybe the spanish translation of peluda in the meaning of “cursed tongue ” is right after all .
happy holidays london }8-)=
Cursed tongue? It means shaggy female creature, women included :-p.
I just checked to find more precise words, and the Wordreference.com dictionary uses hairy (women) or furry (animals).
And I don’t mind relentless commenters, it is the first time this place has reached the 33 ones :-)
It is only that I try to answer always (ok, ok, to have the last word, if you want to consider it that way :-p), but at least once Kat made me throw the towel, and you will probably manage to make me do it too *grins*.