Lately I did reach a routine: sweet RL days and sweet SL nights, with my RL intruding sometimes into the nights, and my SL intruding sometimes into the days. No drama, or at least not too much, and never too often. Simply living two happy, quiet lives.
And then the holidays came and we went away a long week, far from everything.
And then we came back and I felt very, very lazy about logging in, because it is easier to have only one life.
And then I discovered that, even if I wanted to log, I couldn’t.
I love to examine my feelings; I wrote many times about why SL may be so good, so bad, so boring, so obsessive, and so so :-p. But never thought about the dangers of my two lives becoming too good and rewarding.
I can’t leave SL, and love is the reason, but love also keeps me away from it now. My days are busy, my nights aren’t mine anymore… and I would joke about my husband becoming too adhesive in the night if I wasn’t so adhesive in the day.
Of course I can’t tell him why I need to be alone at night, why our old closeness has became too close at some hours. This little holidays somehow shattered our routine, and…
*laughs*
What was the chance of writing this while getting Jem’s Come On closer in the radio? The lyrics match it so well…
Hot temptations
Sweet sensations
Infiltrating through
A sweet temptation pulls me away from him in the night, but I can’t obey it, not now, even if it makes my heart ache.
And I hate this temptation, because our sweet life is having an even sweeter moment, and I should simply enjoy it… but it seems that I am more for sweet-and-sour than sugar.
I know that soon things will change back. Just now we are enjoying being a bit too close, but soon we will need our little spaces in the night… we will be back to the old days. We will hug and talk a about what happened in the day, and have dinner, and then he will be back to his work, his corner of the couch where he snuggles to read, or his TV shows.
And we will be happy, and I will be have time for the other half of my heart, so lonely just now.
I will be back to my little, guilty secret, turning the screen so he can’t see who I am hugging. He will wonder again who makes me type so fast, why I smile like a monkey. He will go early to bed, as usual, and I… I will stop writing just now :-p.
As much as I miss you – enjoy this feeling of closeness, enjoy the intimacy you do not talk about but clearly hint at. A vacation is abreak of routine, and your break obviously was very positive. Enjoy it as long as possible! And your friends will still be there when you come back.
I am happy for the renewed closeness and stronger love you have in your RL… savour it and enjoy for as long as it lasts, London! Many of us only dream of having such a thing :) *hugs you tight*
:: Kisses London’s nose, and huggles her nice and tight.:: Yaknow we can wait. We Love yah, London. Take the time to get as much out of this RL as you can. I know I’ll be here when you get the chance. ^-^ :: Hugggggggles tighter.:: Mew!~
I just noticed I forgot to answer your nice comments; see what happens when I don’t do it as soon as I read them? Lucky my head is fixed and can’t forget it :-p
Anyway…
Peter, thank you. I am pretty sure that with intimacy you mean sex, which brough to my mind the old discussion about its mean. So I checked “Intimacy” in the dictionary and it mainly means closeness, even if secundarily (in fact tertiarily) may mean physical contact, so I was right using it in that way *sticks her tongue out*.
Quaintly, thank you… even if “as long as it lasts” sounds a bit scary, dear! *giggles*.
Katrina… I miss hugging you, love, even if I know the way hot weather annoys you; probably is all that fur fault ;-p. I wonder if you got an air conditioner this summer, at least? *grings and hugs you as tight as you hug her*
Welcome back London, I missed you and all your smiles and hugs. :)
I sent you a little “welcome back” present too – i hope it brings another smile :)
Hugs
Faerie
Oh, we have an air conditioner. Just that it’s not being run so much. T.T And what fur? >.> Only my lil ears and tail are furry! The rest of me is.. ehm… bare. >.> (Okay, I -do- have a lot of hair. But that doesn’t count as fur!)
And who says anything about hot weather making any difference in hugs?
:: Pounces. Hugs and hugs and hugs ’till she can’t.::
Thank you, Faerie, it was fun! Of course, I can’t use it with my cat skin, but I will find something to wear that let me try it ;-)
/me smiles at Katrina. I think so much about you as a kitten, that I tend to forget the bareness of the set; isn’t it strange?
I found your blog by chance, reading about SL and people’s experiences.
This post made me smile, even if sometimes it’s a bitter smile. You translated very well these sometimes so difficult moments to live two happy and fullfiling lives RL and SL. We’re so lucky to have both, but sometimes it’s a real pressure. I used to call it guilt, but maybe it’s a bit more complicated.
Thanks anyway, I love it when I see people share the same feelings and manage to put words on them.
Thank you, Izo (and sorry I took so much to answer, I didn’t notice the comment until today *blushes*).
People’s problems tend to be so huge, that they tend to look at me in a funny way when I rant about how hard is having too much fun for my own good; even if I understand it, it is wonderful to meet more people that shares that kind of “pain” :-)