A busy Christmas kept me away from SL, but now I am even busier, studying around ten hours a day for a competitive exam that will take place in the Summer. I know it sounds like a lot of work, but I am doing it in my own unique style, that includes seeing Brad Pitt’s “Snatch” (drools) while writing up schematics.
The thing is, I am busy, but not busy enough to keep me so far away from SL as I’ve been, and yesterday I decided it was time to write a post in the hope I would discover why. Yes, blogging as the cheapest form of psychoanalysis :-p.
It started easy, with some redundant topics of mine: my inability to deal with a friend list (sigh, I’m more and more sure my Dunbar’s number at SL goes around 10), that I need some hours in a row with somebody to feel really connected, and how easily I feel detached when interrupted by an IM (multitasking), when chat lags (multitasked), when RL intrudes, when there are technical issues… you know, everything :-p.
The problem is nothing of this was new, and it didn’t fully explain why, when I get a pair of free hours, I tend to read or see TV instead of logging in.
So I started digging into relations, and after a whole day I noticed they where the same old clichés: I don’t desire enough and/or I am not being desired enough. I can’t give what he/she needs, and/or he/she can’t give me what I need, and so on.
No relation is perfect, and it is true I’ve been feeling lots of negative emotions, from boredom to jealousy,which I hate and makes me hate myself. But it is also true that my heart flutters when I meet a loved one, that I laugh and enjoy the company of my friends. So no luck here, try the other one.
So, after spending a whole morning writing a post, I deleted it! And it didn’t went better in the afternoon, believe me :-(
But after a bit of sleep I think I’ve reached a conclusion: SL bores me to no end… unless I have lots of time to spend with my friends, work in my shop or write endless posts. I need time enough to connect, and I doubt I’ll have that kind of time until September, and that’s the way the cookie crumbles.
Or not?
After all, adding chocolate chunks to cookies seemed impossible at first, isn’t it?
I am going to try to dedicate all my free time from a whole day to SL, probably the monday; and if that doesn’t work, I’ll keep trying, and trying. Because that’s the way the cookie crumbles ;-)
Awww, love. The timing has been out of sync lately, I was so sorry to have missed you yesterday :(
Happy to hear that you are studying, and studying so hard! Especially since you kept telling me, earlier, that you should work… but weren’t working :p Good luck!!! *hugs you reaaaaaally tight and kisses your nose*
I know saying I missed you dearly and thought of you all the time does not really help matters. So let me just say I’m here for you for cookie crumbling or whatever else we’d like to do.
Maybe it was for the best, I was pretty messed up and you probably would had gone to bed with a headache *hugs and kisses you back :-)*
Peter, it is the cookie, not my cookie! I can’t believe you have made such mistake! Anyway, thank you, but be careful with the cookies, they have hidden depts :-)
*Note to self*
*IM London randomly on Mondays..Are you here yet??*
hmm… I will /probably/ reply in a blogpost later this week. To many thoughts popping up and to busy rl to order them now.
*steals a cookie and goes to bed*
(yes, brushing my teeth first, mummy ;-))
too* many (twice!), doh!
So you want to London your reply? :p
I wonder if wouldn’t be easier (and less noisier) to simply check if I am online, Shockwave *sticks her tongue out*.
Zippora, no! now I’ll be wantonly (waiting*, I mean ;-) for it! *grins and puts the cookies in the upper self*.
Peter, I wondered for a while about if you where doing a “to/too” joke, and wasn’t able to get it… until I got you where publiciting a new verb :-).
@Peter: you got it!
@London: you really think the upper shelf helps? This is an SL related blog, so I guess I can still fly or cam up there :P And without cookies I can’t sort my thoughts for the post *nods to assure herself*