Can it be? Can you feel attracted for people of your own gender when SL, and keep “straight” at RL?
When I first arrived at SL I thinked it was only a game, but as soon as I started meeting and befriending people it becomed a life… a second one, of course. Maybe a week after joining SL, I was looking at the map and porting to places with a lot of population and ended at “Heaven Over the Clouds”, a free sex place. Now I am accustumed to SL ways but, that day, being there… it was a strange, almost shocking experience, and pretty arousing.
*smiles* It was so arousing that that day I discovered what cybering meaned with a woman that IM’d me, whose avatar I never saw, and whose name I, sadly, don’t remember. I stored it on my “experimentation” brain folder (with links to “naughty” and “awesome”, too) and kept with my virtual life, but the door had been open.
Totally uncalled for promotional picture of Pandora Poser
A little after that my social life grow, dated some man, experimented that love and sorrow are quick and intense here. Things where incredible, then awfull, then incredible again… a rollercoaster of the heart, incredible addictive. In one of those peaks an unknown woman IM’d me, telling she liked my profile, we talked and after a while… I didn’t even give it a thought, it seemed so natural.
With time I discovered that I didn’t minded who whas behind the keyboard, only if I liked them enough to share it. Of course the first look still matters, but kind words and confidence are a must ( if you meet the requeriments and are planning to address me, sorry, but I have an exclusive, full time relation now *smiles*).
Ok, abstracting the avatar gender isn’t so hard when we are talking about a “communion of the minds”, and I don’t physically desire woman on RL, it isn’t built in… the problem is that I do at SL! At least one of them :-). And I am not talking about a nice, sweet desire… sometimes I feel about drooling, sigh.
A week ago, one of SL residents addressed us while we where (endlessly) hugging with the typical savoir faire we are used to and asked “Are you lesbians?”; after the necesary mental groan I answered: “Straight at RL”. Does that have any sense? Now I am ashamed of my answer, it smells too much of bigotry, like “it can seem it but I am not one of them”.
Hehe, with this post I am not meaning I feel confused about my identity, I have the privilege of living and enjoying two wonderfull lifes at the same time (pity about the sleep *yawns*); in fact it hasn’t a lot of meaning but, if there is something to get from it is that I am a bit curious about how it works; I am not used of not being able to define or explain what moves me.