A busy Christmas kept me away from SL, but now I am even busier, studying around ten hours a day for a competitive exam that will take place in the Summer. I know it sounds like a lot of work, but I am doing it in my own unique style, that includes seeing Brad Pitt’s “Snatch” (drools) while writing up schematics.
The thing is, I am busy, but not busy enough to keep me so far away from SL as I’ve been, and yesterday I decided it was time to write a post in the hope I would discover why. Yes, blogging as the cheapest form of psychoanalysis :-p.
It started easy, with some redundant topics of mine: my inability to deal with a friend list (sigh, I’m more and more sure my Dunbar’s number at SL goes around 10), that I need some hours in a row with somebody to feel really connected, and how easily I feel detached when interrupted by an IM (multitasking), when chat lags (multitasked), when RL intrudes, when there are technical issues… you know, everything :-p.
The problem is nothing of this was new, and it didn’t fully explain why, when I get a pair of free hours, I tend to read or see TV instead of logging in.
So I started digging into relations, and after a whole day I noticed they where the same old clichés: I don’t desire enough and/or I am not being desired enough. I can’t give what he/she needs, and/or he/she can’t give me what I need, and so on.
No relation is perfect, and it is true I’ve been feeling lots of negative emotions, from boredom to jealousy,which I hate and makes me hate myself. But it is also true that my heart flutters when I meet a loved one, that I laugh and enjoy the company of my friends. So no luck here, try the other one.
So, after spending a whole morning writing a post, I deleted it! And it didn’t went better in the afternoon, believe me :-(
But after a bit of sleep I think I’ve reached a conclusion: SL bores me to no end… unless I have lots of time to spend with my friends, work in my shop or write endless posts. I need time enough to connect, and I doubt I’ll have that kind of time until September, and that’s the way the cookie crumbles.
After all, adding chocolate chunks to cookies seemed impossible at first, isn’t it?
I am going to try to dedicate all my free time from a whole day to SL, probably the monday; and if that doesn’t work, I’ll keep trying, and trying. Because that’s the way the cookie crumbles ;-)