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Archive for the ‘Fucked it up’ Category

Fun title? Glad it hooked you… but keep reading! Below you will find a complex story that introduces you to a terrible mistake, the dangers of  hearsay and, at last, the explanation of why there is so much drama in the fashion blogosphere.

Well, that or an apologize about one of my typical blunders, with some related musings;  it is all a matter of opinion ;-p

But let’s get started:

In my last post I was having some fun, introducing a blog I had found, Banana’s hubbie. One of the things I playfully said was he should had posted why did he choose his strange name:

Anyway, I find Banana’s blog lacking, somehow. After so many posts, he didn’t explain why he calls himself Banana’s Hubby?

Note to myself: If he calls himself Banana’s hubby, maybe there is a wife called Banana… and maybe she has a blog?

Of course there was a wife, Banana Vella, whose blog isn’t lacking at all; so it wasn’t the best moment to short Banana’s hubby into Banana’s, don’t you think? (and yes, I added to the crime thieving this picture from one of her posts).

Banana Vella

I can only guess how she felt when, reading a comment about her husband’s blog, found that “her blog was lacking”, without further explanation. Whatever she thought, she did something  very nice: she asked for an explanation.

Consider it: how many times in similar circumstances, we think WTF, became angry, and simply keep angry? What if she had published a post about it at her blog, which I didn’t even knew at the moment? How many people would think I am stupid?

Mmmmm, let me rephrase that: how many MORE people would think I am stupid?

By being asked an explanation I was given the opportunity to discover my mistake, fix it, and apologize. If you think that it isn’t a great feat, please, keep reading.

Oh, I also got an excuse to write another post (always welcomed) and discovered a new blog, which, as I said, isn’t lacking at all *smiles*.

Ah, yes. It also gave me the opportunity to wonder if it had been proper to post a picture of my right nipple when posting about somebody’s else husband; but that is another story :-p

The thing is, how many times we get angry at an innocent comment, because it had been badly worded? And bad writing isn’t the only way to slip.

Not too long ago I wrote a post about my new skin from Laqroki. Soon after it, I got a mail telling me that the old Laqroki business (formerly RaC) was guilty of skin theft, and so a no-no between bloggers. I considered that the right place to say that where the post comments, but my interlocutor answered he didn’t want to stir more mud.

That annoyed me, and I started Googling. What I found is that Laqroki used to have a bad name because their first skins where too expensive for their quality (if so, their quality has greatly improved, at least to my taste), and that Laqroki filled a DMCA about skin theft, even if it never prospered.

Maybe both concepts got mixed, giving Laqroki a bad name about a skin theft they didn’t commit? I don’t know, but it sounds probable. I told so to my mail companion, and he said he didn’t really know, because he had been told about it by another blogger. we did talk a bit about the dangers of hearsay, and that was all at the moment.

So, the point isn’t if the accusation was true this time, the matter is how easily a reputation can be damaged, even with the best intentions, like trying to punish a thief.

Now, let’s look at fashion: while standard bloggers (if there is something like a “standard” one) tend to talk about their personal thingies, fashion bloggers have the responsibility to judge people’s items, and transmit their opinion to customers. They need to decide if saying nice things about something they had been given for free is ethical (btw, my opinion is yeah! Gimme, gimme, gimme!), and of course they want to use their weight in the community for important things, like denouncing thieves.

Do we doubt the whole community feels edgy?

I don’t write much about fashion, but I remember when I decided to post about why did I delete a dress from Eshi Otawara.

waist-seam

Before posting it, I was told it was a mistake going against such a sacred figure, and even I wasn’t going to let that stop me. At the end nothing bad happened, the traffic was awesome, and I even got nicely invited by Eshi to her Plurk a bit ago (I wonder, am I the only one who doesn’t have a Plurk account?), but I felt a bid edgy, anyway.  Edgy enough to answer an innocent comment from Terry Toland in a pretty rude way, that she was nice enough to forgive.

So yes, I know some blogs could pay more attention to fashion instead of stoking the flame wars, but even without them, fashion blogs are EDGY. In that kind of enviroment any mistake can have huge consequences, and more if the writer doesn’t even notice it, at least until the thing explodes. It isn’t only a matter of writing carefully, or documenting yourself, we need to try to find all that makes us jump in a WTF way, try to find if it may have been a mistake, and try to clear it nicely.

And even then, the whole thing can backfire.

I wrote once about communication, and mentioned a problem that Prokofy Neva’s blog had with the World of SL feed. Prokofy got it wrong, posting a slightly acidic comment, and I answered back, err, with a slightly acidic one:

Prokofy: I discovered long ago your TypePad problems while reading the header of that post at World of SL, and stored the link for future use. I always worry about not expressing myself right in english but: “avoiding hating somebody for things that aren’t their fault, like the way Prokofy seems to hoard World of SL feed”? Did you read the whole phrase before commenting?

Guess: I never got an answer to it :-p

The feeling I got is Prokofy never read my answer, and thus the misunderstanding never got cleared with her, but now I knew about it, which annoyed me, even if it wasn’t enough to justify sending an IM.

Teeth grinding.

Edgy.

We live in a written world where it is too easily to offend and be offended, even against our best wishes, and it isn’t enough to be careful. I wonder, did my mail companion tell the original blogger about the Laqroki matter? Did the original blogger check the facts and, if it was a mistake, was the hearsay chain followed, fixing the mistake?

I doubt it very much, not because I have a personal opinion about them (wait, I have it; both of them are wonderful), but because it isn’t in the nature of the human being to pursuit back that kind of error and, even if they tried, it would soon stop at the next one, or the other. This kind of things never make the first page.

As Terry Pratchett says, a lie goes round the world before the truth has put his boots on; it is sad but we, and I include myself, are made that way. But we can always try :-)

So, I apologize again, Banana; even if I only peeked briefly at it (OMG, hundreds of posts in less than a year!) you have a great blog. And thank you, very much, for telling me about my blunder; I am glad you took the effort :-)

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Arrrgh!

Well, this morning I had an idea for a new post (about rudeness) and as I usually do, I created a draft… and then I pushed “Publish” instead of “Save” :-p

Of course I didn’t notice until three hours later, enough time to have been feeded around.

So instead of deleting it, I will leave it go as a fun example of how “awesome” is my creative process *smiles*.

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Christmas priorities

*Sighs* After working so much I have finished the last module for the new hud, but not with enough time to load the full pack of animations I wanted, and also to do the promos and vendors.

christmas1

I thought about working all this night, and maybe part of tomorrow’s morning, and try to get everything done. But there is no time enough to do a good work.

christmas2

The hud is finished, but I didn’t did it on time. I will try to do the last tests and everything else this weekend, but Christmas are complicated and I don’t promise anything. *Promises the new hud isn’t vaporware, and dissapears in the fog :-p*.

christmas3

Merry Christmas.

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****** Post update: Due to a problem with the shop editing and autoreturn, I settled for a while by mistake a 100L$ Icebreaker vendor instead of the 1L$ one. I have IMd and payed back to the customers that got it by mistake, but still, I am awfully sorry about the inconveniences *****

Yet one more new/old location for the store. After OpenSpaces leaved us homeless and shopless, Nat rented again our old spot at Extropia, so we are back and, hopely, to stay :-p.

Final pose

The shop still is a job in progress but, meanwhile and to celebrate it, I am setting the Icebreaker (100L$) and the Poser (50L$) as 1L$ freebies at Extropia’s shop until tomorrow’s morning (tuesday, 18; check the price before paying, by letting the mouse rest over the vendor) so, what are you waiting for? Rush and get them at the shop while they are hot!!!

Icebreaker

Note: if the internal TP’s don’t work right, don’t worry, it is because I had to move the building and I breaked them, but all my shop is in the same floor.

Natsumi should set her own shop and fix them soon, and that will mean that you will be able to visit hers… but that will be other story :-)

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Amnesic

No, I am not saying I have lost my memory, but due the Openspaces caper I decided to write some posts, and then discovered I had forgotten the password.

So, I created a new blog, wrote some posts and now, more or less a week after doing so, I remebered the password for this one :-p.

To avoid continuity problems I am going to copy/paste that posts here, but not just now, since I don’t have much time and my connection isn’t very good. 

meanwhile, you can have a look at them here: http://londonspengler.wordpress.com/

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A quick one about shame

For a long time I’ve been wondering how World of Fashion managed to select what part of a post show… and, after receiving this comment… “Please use a cut next time… thx.” I know it is possible, even if I still don’t know how.

Anyway, I wanted to post, quickly, that even if I don’t share the prejudice against nudity (or, worse, nude hugs!!!) that roams the net, nothing further from my intentions than scandalice/annoy the feed readers.

I want to apologice about the previous pictures, and I’ll be in debt with anybody that teachs me how make a cut, to avoid that kind of situations in the future. Thanks in advance, and sorry again.

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You can find the first part of this series here, or in the Love and Sex category. Of course, when it ends on the I Fucked it Up one, it is clear something went wrong. But don’t worry, this isn’t a rant, not another breakdown… even if there is a touch of apologice on my behalf.

But first let’s talk about good things: I met Timothy (alias mr. goodguy) and he was, no, he IS charming, and the date was a bliss… even if he showed a tendence about over-planning (but I really really loved the glide, Tim :-) and RL kept nagging at me so the weight of the conversation fell heavily over his poor, furry shoulders.

In fact it was a good thing, since I’ve already talked too much about myself here and it gived me hours to know him better, and he is interesting, introspective, caring and even funny sometimes (yes, I cannot avoid nagging at everybody :-p).

After SL played its usual usual tricks on us I ended taking him at our “not really romantic” poseball storage room (it happens when you buy all B&B packs and there are some innadecuate for public use :-p), where I showed I can be as eager and clumsy as anybody else; I am well known for not to taking the time to do the things right but, of course, that is part of my charm, leaving things for the future :-p.

One of the strangest things of the night was when I discovered that it isn’t the same to tell a lover what you did at RL after doing it, that noticing he already knows WHILE you are doing it, since he readed about it before; shyness attack us in the oddest moments :-p

A wonderfull (and funny :-) date… and then everybody started logging in, we went to Lillie’s ball and things got confusing an busy (I didn’t even had the opportunity to see Tim again before he logged), then I had to port home and ended tired and sleep deprived in the arms of Natsumi and Katrina, about going to say goodbye… and some hours later I still was there, sweating, breathing raggedly and wondering if I was suffering a heart attack :-p.

All nice and fun and exciting… until two days after it I ended being a drama queen, something nobody deserved, and Tim less than anybody else. You probably notice a trend here… I met Soph and instead of a nice, loving post, I wrote for a nervous breackdown statement. I met mr. goodguy and after a while things go sour.

The problem? My usual SL obsessions… time, complex relations… growing pains that end affecting other people: my SL family, my friends.

I had decided not to write about this since it affected other people privacity, but after a while I noticed a great deal of the guilt fell on me; I should had seen it coming weeks ago, and probably reading my own rules about poliamory whould had helped, if I hadn’t been so blinded by my own self-image and words.

The fun thing is the clue is what I’ve always said, ranted and writen about… time.

In the end, the “why” is simple, too: I’ve neglected the ones I should care more about and, while doing it, brought more and more people on my live… so I could neglect them too.

The answer? I doubt anybody has a good one; I know mine isn’t.

First: When the hangout is ready I’ll asist at fixed hours, publishing them in my profile so I can keep in contact with everybody.

Second: Now we have a place to meet, I’ll leave on my friend list only the five or six ones I IM often (and yes, I am including here the mistreated Soph and Tim, if they still want to burden with me), and the ones I don’t feel the need to talk to, like administrative contacts… sigh, it cannot sound sillier, a friend list without standard friends in it.
I know this isn’t a true solution, only a runaway that is rude with people I like… but we need time to recover and I cannot resist anymore my love/hate relation with my friend list.

So, here you have it… if you want to meet me or, what I think is much more interesting, people like you that likes to read the blog, come to the hangout when we have it ready.
But no more friends and dates for me, until this (second) life recovers it’s sanity :-p.

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