RL sex, SL Sex: dirty talking

*** Lots of dirty words; please skip this post if that makes you uneasy ***

I said I wasn’t going to try a cybering “how to”, but a good series of posts about it just got deleted and I feel somehow justified to port them here… but there is a nag. I had the idea of reading them in deep, err… someday, but they where pretty long and I browsed them too quickly *blushes slightly ashamed*.

So at the end you will get a mix of some things I found worth remembering, mixed with my own ideas and ramblings. There is also the style problem; they where written with a sweet and careful good taste, while I tend to throw things and hope they fall standing. A pity, but they got deleted and this is what we have left; our loss, because good cybering does wonders in the ways of communication and self-esteem, even if it tends to keep you awake at late hours.

One of the things I remember is how not women should use silly words as “vagoo” when cybering, because it probably would freeze her partner libido (I also noticed that it sounds a bit like ageplay; remember that if you have that tendency). Also, it said not many women would use the world “c*nt” even at dirty talk;  I deeply agree with it, too. After all, throats aren’t designed to pronounce asterisks.

Jokes appart, I use cunt a lot while cybering, but after reading that I noticed the spanish equivalent, “coño” is a swearword instead an insult, and that probably explains why, not being english native, I have no problems with it.

Even more, just after writing coño I noticed how I dislike that word and that I wouldn’t use it in dirty talk.

The fact is I don’t do dirty talk at RL; interesting, I feel ashamed because I don’t do it.

But dirty talk is a need in cybering, because you need to say what you are doing, and when you do it you need to keep the mood: nobody is going to insert a candy stick in my vagoo if they hope to keep doing it in the future (prim scissors, here we go!).

Dirty talk isn’t easy. It can go a bit through your partner comfort zone, but not too far away if you don’t want to spoil things, and you can’t simply discuss it in advance (btw, love, you can’t discuss it while you aren’t at it, I didn’t remember to tell you until now, but it wasn’t a good idea, believe me :-p).

Going back to the cunt word, the post writer suggested a solution, only use it after your female partner uses it for herself, showing you that way she doesn’t mind… good idea, but not a perfect solution with so many rezbians roaming around (I think I would say… no, better not. No, please, do it. No, I am not sure, you first…).

There is also the timing thing; I use pussy at first, and then switch to cunt when things grow hotter. Oh, who am I trying to delude; I am the selfish kind and I use it when I grow hotter.

Maybe you didn’t notice it, and I hadn’t, but dirty talk is a delicate thing. You need to understand your partner, to feel the tempo, and sometimes, to risk a bit. If you hear something you don’t like much try to swallow it and tell him (or her) after you finish, but If you truly dislike something, stop it and discuss it. Your partner is talking like that for your enjoyment, and will (probably) thank you for it.